Adjusting to a NEW Reality…

I mentioned a couple days ago that I was diagnosed with PCOS. I found out I had insulin problems a year in a half ago and now it’s gotten worse and I now have PCOS. Crazy how things change. I think I see part of why the Father has called me to stay home. I started taking Metformin which is a medication that will help lower my insulin levels and help me to lose weight as long as I get regular exercise and stick to a strict diet! Up until this point I wasn’t taking how serious having high insulin levels really is, but as I do research on PCOS, I find myself sitting at home and wiping the tears from my cheeks.

Dreams I’ve always had might be shattered. I’ve always dreamed of being a wife and starting a family. Every little girl’s dream. I’ve always felt I had a motherly instinct that allowed me to help people. I am a very compassionate person and I love deeply. I have considered adopting if my future husband also feels the same way, but now to find out that when the Father’s plan reveals the man He has planned for me to spend the rest of my life with, I have to tell him that a lot of money has to be spent to see if I can even have children and even then I may be completely infertile.

For a girl who has always wanted to be a mother and get pregnant after the right man comes along, it’s a shattering and heartbreaking moment to think that this may not be something that the Father is going to allow me to experience. I will accept it if it is what He has planned.

Baren women of the Word

Women of the Word were able not able to get pregnant, but they still had good marriages. I might just be temporarily infertile, but even though I am scared of the future… I am confident in the ONE I serve who has everything already figured out and I will be honest with my future husband, but it will be hard for me to tell him! For now I will spend time seeking the Father intimately and taking Metformin and trying hard to lose weight and eat healthy!

Blessings and Love,


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